Poem #18: Groovin' Down the San Juan River (Utah)

Author’s note:

To answer the oft asked query about a river trip, this is how you go to the toilet. The appliance is called "the groover" because in early river-running days, an ammunition box (like the white box in front of the toilet) was used to accumulate and carry feces out of the canyon, and sitting on the narrow ammunition box left grooves on one's butt-cheeks. Mike (Goat) and I volunteered to set up the groover each afternoon when we made camp, and pack it up the next morning as one of our camp chores, something much appreciated by all the others on the trip (who therefore didn't have to do it.) The raft paddle is the signal that the groover is available for use.

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Groovin' Down the San Juan River

The job that no one wanted to do,
Fell to the stalwart groover crew,
So the first thing set up when we beach the boat
Is the groover box, carried by Chuck and Goat.

A scenic view and some level land
Are the basic needs of the groover can.
We remove the lock and install the seat
And give them scenery that can't be beat.

Place the paddle where all can see
And if it's there, you've got the key!
All are happy that the job is done
And traipse the groover trail, one by one.



For relief is only a stroll away
So mosey on over without delay,
Lighten your load and put on a smile,
Please close the lid, then walk back with style.

But leave only solids, no liquids, you see,
Use the brown river when you pee,
And don't worry about water pollution,
'cause it's all taken care of by San Juan dilution.

Everyone contributes their weighty concerns
Before launch time as our canyon world turns,
And just before shove-off we pack away
the groover's accumulation of the remains of yesterday.

copyright Chuck Morlock 2003

Photos of San Juan River raft trip