Yogi-isms

I love the commercials on TV featuring Yogi Berra. Here are some of his (mis) sayings:

"It's tough to make predictions, especially about the future."

"He hits from both sides of the plate. He's amphibious."

"You have to give 100 percent in the first half of the game. If that isn't enough, in the second half, you have to give what is left."

"Never answer an anonymous letter."

"It's like déjà vu all over again."

"I know, Texas has a lot of electrical votes."

"It gets late early around here."

"A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore."

"A home opener is always exciting, no matter if it's home or on the road."

"If I didn't wake up I'd still be sleeping."

"I usually take a two hour nap from 1 to 4."

"When you get to a fork in the road, take it."

"I didn't really say everything I said."

"Nobody goes there anymore because it's too crowded."

"We have a good time together, even when we're not together."

"Our similarities are different." (Attributed to his son, Dale.)

"If the world were perfect, it wouldn't be."

"That's his style of hitting. If you can't imitate him, don't copy him."

"It was hard to have a conversation with anyone; there were so many people talking".

"We make too many wrong mistakes."

"Slump? I ain't in no slump... I just ain't hitting."

"You can observe a lot by watching."

"If you don't know where you're going, you'll wind up somewhere else."

"The future ain't what it used to be."

"If they don't want to come, you can't stop them."

"Always go to other people's funerals -- otherwise they won't go to yours."

"Think! How the hell are you gonna think and hit at the same time?"

"Why buy good luggage? You only use it when you travel!"

"Ninety percent of this game is half mental."

When asked what makes a good manager of a baseball team, he said "A good ball club."

When asked what time it is, he said "What? You mean right now?"

"It ain't the heat, it's the humility."

When he was asked if first baseman Don Mattingly had exceeded expectations, Yogi said, "I'd say he's done more than that!"

His wife Carmen asked where he would like to be buried. His reply: "Surprise me!"

When he was told that he looked cool in his summer suit by the Mayor of New York's wife, he said, "You don't look so hot yourself."

"The towels were so thick there I could hardly close my suitcase."

"He can run anytime he wants. I'm giving him the red light."

"I always thought that record would stand until it was broken."

At a dinner in an Italian restaurant, he was asked how many slices should be cut in his pizza, he replied: "You better make it four. I don't think I could eat eight."