The Preacher is Leaving...

A Preacher is explaining that because of the economy, he must move on to a larger congregation that will pay him more. There is a hush within the congregation. No one wants him to leave.

Joe Smith, who owns several car dealerships in the city stands up and proclaims, "If the Preacher stays, I will provide him with a new Cadillac every year, and his wife with a Honda mini-van to transport their children!"

The congregation sighs in relief and applauds.

Sam Brown, a successful entrepreneur and investor, stands and says, "If the Preacher will stay, I'll personally double his salary and also establish a foundation to guarantee the college education of all his children!"

More sighs and loud applause.

Sadie Jones, age 88, stands and announces with a smile, "If the Preacher stays, I will give him sex!"

There is total silence. Everyone is aghast. No one believes what was just offered.

The Preacher, finally regaining some semblance of composure, stands, and though obviously blushing, asks, "Dear Mrs. Jones, whatever possessed you to say that?"

Sadie's 90- year-old husband, Jake, holding his forehead with the palm of his hand and shaking his head from side to side, is now trying to hide, while his wife loudly replies, "Well, I just asked my husband how we could help -- and he said, "Screw the preacher..."

Isn't senility wonderful? Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth.