George Carlin Asks…

• If you throw a cat out of a car window, does it become kitty litter?
• If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?
• Is it okay to use the AM radio after noon?
• What do chickens think we taste like?
• What do people in China call their good plates?
• What do you call a male ladybug?
• What hair color do they put on the driver’s license of a bald man?
• If a dog food is new and has improved taste, who tested it?
• Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
• Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
• Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle or tube?
• Why is it called tourist season if we can’t shoot at them?
• Why do you need a driver’s license to buy liquor when you can’t drink and drive?
• Why isn’t phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
• Why are their Interstate highways in Hawai’i?
• Why are there flotation devices in the seats of airplanes instead of parachutes?
• Why are cigarettes sold at gas stations where smoking is prohibited?
• Have you ever imagined a world without hypothetical situations?
• How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work?
• If the 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why does it have locks on the door?
• Why is a bra singular and panties plural?
• If a fire fighter fights fire and a crime fighter fights crime, what does a freedom fighter fight?
• If they squeeze olives to get olive oil, how do they get baby oil?
• If a cow laughs, does milk come out of her nose?
• If you are driving at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens?
• Why is it that when you transport something by car it is called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship it’s called cargo?
• Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains?
• What would Geronimo say if he jumped out of an airplane?
• Why are the called apartments when they are all stuck together?
• If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
• If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
• Why do we park on a driveway and drive on a parkway?