None of it worked!!!

To all my friends who have emailed me various good wishes, offers, chain letters, 'angel' letters, or numerous other types of promises of good luck if only I would forward their email to people I know, I need to divulge to you that NONE OF THAT MALARKEY WORKED!

So, in the future, could you please simply just send MONEY, Whiskey, Beer, Wine, Chocolate, Gift Cards, or Gasoline Vouchers.

Thanks. :)