Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Punishing Language

Yes, puns can be punishing. But for some reason, the English teacher within me relishes the clever word play they display. And besides, my father was a punster and infected me with them at a very young age. I, of course, tried to pass the love of puns down to my sons, but for some reason, they managed to resist developing a love for them. Anyway -- I've had this blog for nearly a year now and never even once foisted this love upon any readers who happened upon this site -- until today, that is!

1. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

2. Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

3. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

4. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.

5. To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

6. When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.

7. A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

8. A thief fell and broke his leg in wet concrete. He became a hardened criminal.

9. Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.

10. We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.

11. When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U CLA.

12. The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.

13. The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

14. If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.

15. A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.

16. What's the definition of a will? It's a dead giveaway.

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