Wednesday, November 5, 2008

New Election Rules

The election is finally over and I for one am weary of nearly 2 years of campaign rhetoric! If I were King of America, I would impose the following rules immediately and for henceforth.

  1. No campaigning until January 1st of an election year.
  2. The country would be divided into 4 regions, with their respective regional primaries held on the final day of February, March, April, and May.
  3. Campaigning could occur in each region only during the six weeks prior to its regional primary.
  4. No campaigning during June or July.
  5. Political parties would hold their conventions during July.
  6. Campaigning for the general election would begin August 15th and run until the first Monday of November.
  7. Election as usual on the first Tuesday of November.


  8. All campaign signs must be removed by the end of Thursday following the general election.
  9. All candidates will answer in writing numerous questions presented to both candidates regarding the major issues as determined by the people and political pundits and analysts.
  10. Mandatory debates will be held to investigate in depth each candidate’s specific plans to reach their broadly stated goals.
  11. No negative advertising will be allowed. Campaigns can only compare their candidate’s position on the issues with the documented position of the opposition on those issues.
  12. Advertisements will only be allowed by the candidates and their parties -- no “non-profit” groups could use the airways or print media for ads.
  13. Imposed spending limits would be instituted on all campaigns.
  14. Campaign financing: $5000 maximum donation from any one person, organization, corporation, non-profit, Political Action Committee, etc. per election cycle.
  15. Lobbyists will be outlawed, period.
  16. Excess campaign funds not spent or funds collected above the spending limit must be contributed to a recognized charity within 2 months of the election.
  17. Infractions would be punished by public floggings.

And since I would be a benevolent King, your suggestions and additions to this list are welcome via the comments section of this post.


For the doom-and-gloom nay-sayers devastated by the results of the 2008 elections, I advise relaxation and restraint. The new administration isn’t even in office yet and some are declaring the Apocalypse nigh. If in a year or two your concerns have actually materialized, then you have a basis for criticism. But since the administration is not even in power yet, your predictions and recriminations are premature and based purely on speculation, propaganda, prejudice, and bias. Furthermore -- we’ve survived 8 years of the worst administration in over a century, so if you already despise its replacement despite no factual basis to do so yet, remember -- this too shall pass.

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