Bombastic Proverbs #2

Over three decades ago, I came upon an activity that I incorporated into the curriculum for my Advanced Reading class for college-bound juniors and seniors. Ten familiar proverbs had been re-written into lengthy sentences utilizing large words. My inclusion of the activity for my students was designed to show them 1) how NOT to write, and 2) as a vocabulary development exercise. A side benefit was teaching inference, for after defining several words in each sentence, they often could infer what the entire proverb was.

When I began the exercises, the students loved them, and related how they completed the assignment around the evening supper table with the entire family joining in and having a ball. And after we ran out of the sentences, the students sent me home with homework -- to create more of them, often using proverbs they suggested -- which I did until we had a bank of 75 proverbs to work with. Decades later, my students no longer seemed to relish the assignments anymore, because (as we determined) their parents were not using the proverbs and hence the students were unfamiliar with them.

Anyway, I came upon the handout recently as I sifted through some of my old teaching materials, and here, in my eighth year of retirement, I offer several to you for (hopefully) your enjoyment.

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Sample: Do not utter loud and passionate vocal expressions because of the accidental overturning of a receptacle containing a whitish, opaque, nutritive fluid.

Answer: Don’t cry over spilt milk.



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11. A gyrating geological specimen amasses a dearth of verdant flora.

12. That which initially advances upward apparently unendingly must in all eventualities return to the planet from which it originated its journey.
13. Any act, the completion of which is unnecessarily accelerated, invariably yields a resultant dissipation.

14. The masterful Supreme Being ofttimes endeavors to labor utilizing an enigmatic, inscrutable modus operandi.

15. It is prudent to ascertain unequivocally your locus and to predetermine and investigate the locale which is your ultimate destination prior to bounding thereto.

16. The state of emulating consummate immaculacy is an attribute in proximal juxtaposition to the Omniscient Supreme Deity.

17. Refrain from comporting oneself as either one who accrues with the implied consent or expressed intention of returning same, or as one who bestows for temporary usage on the contingency that the same or its equivalent is rebated.

18. Refrain from overzealous consumption of resources, for shunning insatiable usage will yield a plethora and ultimately preclude destitution, scarcity, and craving.

19. The utter absence of auditory stimulation is often regarded as analogous to a precious metallic element.

20. The absence of light is unfailingly the most pronounced immediately prior to the sun’s daily emergence over the eastern horizon.

ANSWERS:

11. A rolling stone gathers no moss.
12. Whatever goes up must come down.
13. Haste makes waste.
14. God works (moves) in mysterious ways.
15. Look before you leap.
16. Cleanliness is next to Godliness.
17. Neither a lender nor a borrower be.
18. Waste not, want not.
19. Silence is golden.
20. It’s always darkest just before the dawn.